Land Down Under - Men at Work

Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,

"Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said,

"I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

Lying in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?"
And he said,

"Oh! Do you come from a land down under? (oh yeah yeah)
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

The first time I heard this song.. maybe I was 6 or 7 years old. Dah besar panjang ni la baru tau what's the actual lyrics are.

Why Can't We Be?

Why can't we be a hipppie... and still make loads of money?

King of Pain - Alanis Morisstte, Mtv Unplugged. Lobes this song!

Or why can't we be a one hit wonder ... and still be happy?

Kiss the Rain - Billie Myers. Well... she's not really a one hit wonder actually, but this song is the best!

Or actually have loads of hits and sing like a cool crooner?

You Don't Know Me - Michael Buble. A fab tribute to Ray Charles

Or turn 360 around, be a Nobel Peace Prize winner and groove at the concert in our honour?

If a Song Could Get You Me - Marit Larsen. I didn't know that there's a concert for Nobel Prize winner. Duh! Sadly Marit, no.. no song could get you anyone.

Oh shucks... when all fails, why can't we just prentend that we're in Timbuktu rather than face all the horror?

Hehehehe saje je nak letak gambar si Cantik Tertarik Kau Memang da Bomb!

To MB, cheer up! We can always escape with our imagination - Cheebs

Life begins at....

Especially for my sister, Happy 40 sen Birthday!

May a brand new age brings you loads of good things to come.

Lobes a lot from all of us at Kem Tahanan Tak Bai

Back at One

Today - 2nd April, 5 years ago, we brought Mak back from the hospital with zero hope. The thought of taking her home so that if it is her time, she will be in her bed, in her home and surrounded by us, left us a little comfort.

The journey begin sometime at 10am maybe. My sisters rode in the ambulance with her. I drove my sister car with Dad in passenger seat. We almost reach Pagoh, when I saw the ambulance stranded by the road side. Bawah signboard beras apa ke. Ya rabbi... tak sudah-sudah lagi drama ni.

The ambulance broke down due to a leak. Astaga. The paramedics called the nearest klinik desa and they confirmed that we could borrow their ambulance. Thank god shortly after, a tow truck came and tow us into Pagoh town.. straight to the klinik.

Memang nak jadi cerita burung bayan, hari tu hari Jumaat. Driver ambulance tgh solat Jumaat pulak. So we had to wait for another half an hour or so. By then, the whole clinic was there including their families anak beranak tok nenek semua dah keluar curious to see my unconcious mother... and the rest of us who are too numb to talk.

Sekejap lagi, hujan lebat pulak turun. Hujan lebat yang amat. Nak tak nak, we transfered mak to the new ambulance and the driver put on the sirens and drive like hell in the rain.

Aku memang terasa nak bergaduh dgn paramedics from the ambulance that we hired from KL tu... tapi memang dah tak kuasa. After saying thank you to the people in Pagoh, we drove home.

There were a lot of people already waiting in Batu Pahat. Tah siapa2 la diaorg ni. Maybe neighbours and of course my uncle yang bertungkus lumus bukak rumah tu, and clean it up.. from morning. Thank you.

I would never wish upon anyone to have to go thru such a dreadful day.

True enough, the next day at 9.25pm - Mak passed away. On her bed. To this very day, I think me and my siblings never actually accepted the fact that our Mother had cancer.

And like clock work, Tuhan tu nak menguji lagi. Today, my dad pulak is diagnosed with cancer.

I'm not sad or angry.

But I just pray that we will all be strong for this second time around. Amin.

Alamak.. speed trap!

As I was cruising (err speeding sebenarnya)...along Kesas smlm, I was actually karaokeing in my car to this song. So who could blame me if kena saman. Cist!

Good Life (Kanye West feat T-Pain)

Like we always do at this time
I go for mine, I gots to shine
Now throw your hands up in the sky
I go for mine, I gots to shine
Now throw your hands up in the sky

I'ma get on this TV, mama
I'ma, I'ma put shit down
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, I'm good

Welcome to the good life
Where niggaz that sell D
Won't even get pulled over in they new V
The good life, let's go on a livin' spree
Shit, they say the best things in life are free

The good life, it feel like Atlanta
It feel like L.A., it feel like Miami
It feel like N.Y., summertime Chi, ahh
Now throw your hands up in the sky

So I roll through good
Y'all pop the trunk, I pop the hood, Ferrari
And she got the goods
And she got that ass, I got to look, sorry

Yo, it's got to be 'cause I'm seasoned
Haters give me them salty looks, Lowry's
50 told me go 'head switch the style up
And if they hate then let 'em hate
And watch the money pile up, the good life

Now I, I go for mine, I got to shine
Now throw your hands up in the sky
Now I, I go for mine, I got to shine
Now throw your hands up in the sky

I'ma get on this TV mama
I'ma, I'ma put shit down
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, I'm good

Welcome to the good life
Where we like the girls who ain't on TV
'Cause they got more ass than the models
The good life, so keep it comin' with them bottles
Till she feel boozed like she bombed at Apollo

The good life, it feel like Houston
It feel like Philly, it feel like D.C.
It feel like VA or the Bay or Ye
Ayy, this is the good life

Welcome to the good life
Homie, tell me what's good
Why I only got a problem when you in the hood?
Welcome to the good life
Like I'm new in the hood, the only thin' I wish?
I wish a nigga would

Welcome to the good life
He probably think he could, but, but
I don't think he should
Welcome to the good life
50 told me go 'head switch the style up
And if they hate then let 'em hate
And watch the money pile up, the good life

Now I, I go for mine, I got to shine
Now throw your hands up in the sky
Now I, I go for mine, I got to shine
Now throw your hands up in the sky

Hey, I'ma get on this TV mama
I'ma, I'ma put shit down
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, I'm good

Have you ever popped champagne on a plane
While gettin' some brain?
Whipped it out, she said, "I never seen snakes on a plane"
Whether you broke or rich you gotta get biz
Havin' money's the everythin' that havin' it is

I was splurgin' on trizz, but when I get my car back
Activated, I'm back to Vegas 'cause
I always had a passion for flashin' before I had it
I close my eyes and imagine, the good life

(my fav part :))
Is the good life better than the life I live
When I thought that I was gonna go crazy?
And now my grandmama ain't the only girl callin' me baby
(or how I would sing it... and now my grandpapa ain't the only boy callin' me baby!)

And if you feelin' me now then put your hands up in the sky
And let me hear you say hey, hey, hey
Ooh, I'm good

Now, who can top this?..

What's the most embarrasing thing that had ever happenned to you? Crapped in your pants? Went to an interview with a whole in your pants? Wet the bed? Well... it's not embarrasing if no one notice. If you got the job, who cares.

What I'm about to write has been what's the most embarassing thing that ever happened to me (to date ..heheh). It's true. I do not make this up.

If you feel like peeing, please stop reading and go 'kench' now. You have been warned.

Picture this. You're going to a concert that you have looking been forward to. You dress up for the occassion. You accessorized (for gosh sake!). Your friend notice you put on some make-up (well.. had to, to cover the sudden attack of the monster zit).

You do feel a bit queasy..maybe it was something you ate.... or maybe you started to feel tired after half a day of Extreme Shopping ...but hey! nothing will stop you from going to this concert. You have been counting every second for the past weeks for this. Tickets, check! Camera, check! Wallet, check! Zit under control, err...tapi boley la, check! Jom, let's go!

The concert was a blast! Your got superb seats! Concert started on time. The sound system was kick-ass! The singer did everything that you thought she would do. It's all good. 3/4 of the concert... here comes that queasy feeling again. This time you notice that your head is pounding to the sound of the bass on the speaker. Nah...you can't be sick. Heck, you can still get up and konon groove to the music (Ya right). You must be hungry. In between of the cheering and clapping, you secretly fantasized - a good nasi goreng cina. Yummm.

The concert was over. But not your headache which by now has scaled up 10 times than an hour ago. You summoned your inner chi..or what's left of it. You still have it under control. You thought you can walk it off. Fresh air might do some good.Huk huk huk..

By now, your headache has displayed its evil self on your face. There's a saying, muka dah macam tapai basi. That's you. That's your face. You just thought, let's get out of here. So you agreed to board the bus.

If this was a movie, the audience would be able to look back and say.. "Noooo, you should have not board the bus". Or perhaps they would rewind to 10 minutes before, when your friend went to the toilet and you refuse to follow because you choose to summon your inner, screwed-up chi.

" Damn it girl.. you should went to the toilet tadi"

If you only knew...

So now, you're on the bus. Your chi level is depleting by the second... yet, you still have the strength to answer the mat salleh sitting in front of you. Let me describe the seating charts.. so that the story that follows would make a better sense. Imagine, bus Intrakota.. at the front of the bus, behind the driver.. the seats are place parallel facing each other. A few seats after that, the seats will start to be in the normal 2 by 2 rows. You are seating in the first seat of these 2 x 2 rows. Next to you, is an apek listening to god knows what on his MP3 player. In front of him, is the mat salleh and his friends. Your friends are sitting 2 rows behind, maybe.. near the door.

The mat salleh, felt that you would know where Hard Rock Cafe is.. (perhaps by deducing that you're partly dress to go there :P), asked you which is the nearest stop to get there. You said sorry, you're not local and don't even know where this bus is heading. So he turned and asked the apek next to you..."Perhaps you would know which stop it is nearest to Hard Rock Cafe, sir?". What the apek answered was maybe perhaps that sealed the deal... He asked back " You want to go coffee shop is it?". Ha ha.

But wait.. this is not a story about the apek. He's just a mere sub-plot.

The Mat Salleh was not satisfied with his answer, got up and asked other mat salleh in the bus pulak. And you should thank your lucky stars for it. (Ya, Right!)... Remember your queasy feeling? It's now bubbling up and felt like it will explode any second. By now, the bus is full with people standing.... The bus came to a sharp corner and you saw that the bus driver practically did a maut corner baring... You swayed a little... lost your concentration a bit there... and here it comes... Blurpp... you threw up in your throat... Oppss.. inner chi.. innner chii.... too late....

Blerrghhhhh.... half of your stomach content.. is on your baju... dripping down to your favorite jeans, soaking thru your underpants. And suddenly your headache cleared and reality struck. It struck hard. YOU ARE ON A PUBLIC BUS FULL OF PEOPLE, and YOU HAVE JUST BARFED ALL OVER YOURSELF!

OMG!

The apek next to you fled the scene. Thank you very much.. or maybe it was his stop. Who cares.

The HRC Mat salleh still talking to his mat salleh friends. Far from the mess.

The crowd next to you parted... there's this one nyonya.. scrambling to get you tissue. Which at this point, what's the use. You could just wipe your hands on your jeans and dab your mouth on your sleeves.. No one is going to be any wiser. Nevertheless, thank you nyonya. You took the pack of tissue anyway.

Your friend appeared next to you.." Eh, what happen to you? Jom la turun sini"

Thank you again to the nyonya for being your PR representative "She's not well..." she answered on your behalf.

Without turning back, you jumped down the bus.

No idea if your vommit actually hit the floor or the bus seat coz you think most of it was on you. Sorry la apek driver. You still remember his happy face.. as if saying to himself yeay.. this is the last trip. After this going home already. Perhaps he's not smilling anymore now.. knowing that he needs to clean up the puke at the end of his shift. To the people on the bus, sorry from the bottom of my heart. I did not meant it to end this way.Hehaw.

One look at you, your friend said.."Beb, I'm sorry.. but this is so funny. Aku nak gelak"

"Yes.. I know.. aku pun nak ketawa jugak.. just that I can't bring myself to it. Damn it, for this.. I get all dressed up. Poyo sial!"

-------HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA burpp....

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH-------

Eh, but wait. Where the heck are we? Shit.. stop apa ni? Here comes the next adventure.

"Nak naik teksi ke?"

"Eii I don't think so.. I smelled mcm lori sampah ok."

"Ok jom la kita jalan.. macam dah dekat je ni nak balik hotel. Aku tanya direction sat"

A moment later...

"Ha dia kata.. jalan terus... then belok kanan"

And walk we went...

"Beb.. aku rasa kita mcm prostitute, jln mcm org gila tgh mlm buta ni"

"Hahahah.. takde la.. sebab kita mcm cheerful aje..."

... And walked further we went

"Eh ni building apa ni? Kat mana ni"

"Ha, sat tgk map ni... where the heck are we. Eh ni building jurisdiction ke apa jadah tah ni"

"Ha.. ni tadi church tu.. kita kat sini la.. so mcm mana eh"

"Eh mcm salah je ni beb... I say we went that way"

"Eh tak la.. mcm sini je"

" Sat cuba tgk building kat sana tu.. familiar tak? Ada ke hotel ni dekat hotel kita"

"Mcm takde je..."

... Ok, jalan je la lagi...

"Beb, aku serious rasa org kata kita mcm pros siut..Sial la mesti orang kat bas tadi ingat aku dah minum tak ingat dunia.. pastu tetiba hangover."

"hahahahah mana ada..."

"Eh, beb... sat.. aku rasa aku nak muntah lagi la...Nak muntah kat tong sampah tu"

"Pergi..pergi cepat"

.... there goes the other half of your stomach content. By now, perhaps the taxis that was whizzing by probably thinking, look at that drunken pros! vomitting by the roadside. Tak malu! Celaka la kau.

.... ok I'm good, can continue with the journey...

"Eh ni building apa pulak.. aku tak pernah jumpa pun"

"Eh, beb belakang kita ada polis la.. cuba kau tanya"

..here comes the cop.

"Kitaorang nak jalan balik hotel kat Arab Street"

"Hah? Nak jalan sampai Arab street... mcm jauh je. Tak pernah dibuat dek orang"

..well, orang pun tak pernah muntah dlm bas agaknya. Tonite, nothing is impossible!

"Takpe la.. you jalan terus ni, lepas tu 2nd traffic light, belok kanan...then terus lagi. Tapi jauh ni tau. Nanti ada bus stop naik la bus ke teksi"

..... so we came to a bus stop

"Eh aku give up la.. jom naik teksi"

...nasib la ada teksi nak berhenti...rupanya mcm jauh la jugak nak sampai situ. Dalam teksi, tu tetiba ada bus berhenti sebelah teksi tu. Baru terperasan, shit.. there's a camera showing the whole fricking bus for the driver to see. Damn it Malik. Mesti driver tu tadi nampak... Damn it again, they definitely have a tape of me barfing in public.

"Beb, aku rasa by now.. muka aku dah ada kat YouTube la..shishhhh"

... alhamdulillah, sampai jugak kat hotel. Campak semua baju2. Balun 2 biji panadol terus tido... pukul 4 terjaga..sbb there's Josh Groban blaring on the TV. Then ada Celine Dione pulak nyanyi Because You Love Me...best pulak.. Half way thru Murder She Wrote, dozed off till morning.

So...

Concert ticket - SGD 80.00

Bus Ticket - SGD 1.20

Vommiting in public - Priceless??!!

... I don't bloody think so! Expensive ada la. I had to sent my clothes to laundry the next day. Tak pernah2 aku hantar laundry kat hotel. Even after the laundry, I may need to write off my jeans coz the stain mcm tak hilang je. The box of panadol cost SGD8 .. would you believe that? In this country, spitting in public pun dah kena fined SGD500. Just imagine vommiting in public? Mau kena hire the entire YB Puchong's clan to defend me. Hah.

For whatever it's worth, nasib semuanya selamat lepas tu. You know when you are super excited and looking forward to something esp going on holidays, you can't help to have a nag in your feeling that something will go wrong somewhere. Well, I was worried about forgeting or losing the tixs.. or someone might lose her phone again. Hahahahah never did I thought THIS will happen instead. Though.. someone almost lost her phone again. Nasib ada orang beriya-iya kejar kitaorg and pulangkan.

So apa pengajarannya?..
1. I might have developped gastric. I'm used to have 3 meals a day and loads of snacking in between.

2. Tah-tah ada pork dlm salad that I ate at 5 pm... that's why la tak diterima badan. Or maybe the salmon in the salad has gone bad.Ark.

3. Maybe aku dah penat sangat kot. Tu la shopping tak ingat dunia. Ha sape nak ikut aku shopping lepas ni.. jaga-jaga. heheh

4. Lain kali if dah pening tu.. force je la muntah. Sighhhh

My sister asked.. kau tak ke muntah dlm plastic bag. Eh, Rokiah - kalau aku tau nak muntah, jgn kat plastic bag.. aku beli baldi siap2.

Akhirkata,

To dearest Ngantukalways - dunno la what to say. Sorry to spoil the plan to go to Mustafa that nite. Thanks for doing all the talking and getting us back to the hotel... and buying the panadol. Jangan la menyesal jalan dengan aku eh. Serious shit, it will only happen with me. Hahahah bawak Jiben pun tak drama macam ni. And yes.. thank you for not laughing to my face. There you have it, a story to tell your grandchildren. Nah, have a field day writing in your blog... tulis la apa kau rasa nak tulis, gelak la apa kau nak. Akak tak marah uols!

Why does it always rain on me?

Is it because I lied when I was 17?

-Travis-

...Now, who can top that?

Earth Hour Malaysia - 28 March 2009, 8.30pm

Switch Off Your Lights and Vote For Earth!

.... does it still count if I have the aircond on full blast though?