Back at One

Today - 2nd April, 5 years ago, we brought Mak back from the hospital with zero hope. The thought of taking her home so that if it is her time, she will be in her bed, in her home and surrounded by us, left us a little comfort.

The journey begin sometime at 10am maybe. My sisters rode in the ambulance with her. I drove my sister car with Dad in passenger seat. We almost reach Pagoh, when I saw the ambulance stranded by the road side. Bawah signboard beras apa ke. Ya rabbi... tak sudah-sudah lagi drama ni.

The ambulance broke down due to a leak. Astaga. The paramedics called the nearest klinik desa and they confirmed that we could borrow their ambulance. Thank god shortly after, a tow truck came and tow us into Pagoh town.. straight to the klinik.

Memang nak jadi cerita burung bayan, hari tu hari Jumaat. Driver ambulance tgh solat Jumaat pulak. So we had to wait for another half an hour or so. By then, the whole clinic was there including their families anak beranak tok nenek semua dah keluar curious to see my unconcious mother... and the rest of us who are too numb to talk.

Sekejap lagi, hujan lebat pulak turun. Hujan lebat yang amat. Nak tak nak, we transfered mak to the new ambulance and the driver put on the sirens and drive like hell in the rain.

Aku memang terasa nak bergaduh dgn paramedics from the ambulance that we hired from KL tu... tapi memang dah tak kuasa. After saying thank you to the people in Pagoh, we drove home.

There were a lot of people already waiting in Batu Pahat. Tah siapa2 la diaorg ni. Maybe neighbours and of course my uncle yang bertungkus lumus bukak rumah tu, and clean it up.. from morning. Thank you.

I would never wish upon anyone to have to go thru such a dreadful day.

True enough, the next day at 9.25pm - Mak passed away. On her bed. To this very day, I think me and my siblings never actually accepted the fact that our Mother had cancer.

And like clock work, Tuhan tu nak menguji lagi. Today, my dad pulak is diagnosed with cancer.

I'm not sad or angry.

But I just pray that we will all be strong for this second time around. Amin.