8 Adults, 3 Kids, 4 Blind Cats, 2 Stolen Ponies and a Wounded Sea Lion

..begitulah ramainya orang to be accounted for to plan for the holidays. Holidays yang kononnya nak dipurchase at Matta Fair. Zoom Malaysia katanya. Well, let it be know that I'm all for holidays in my own country. Swim in our beaches. Take photos under our own coconut trees. Be mesmerize by our own sawah padi.

Unfortunately my enthusiasm last Friday was shot down effortlessly by a bunch of IDIOTS who disgusised themselves as sales people at the MATTA fair.

To What honor (or horror) do I owe for this display of stupidity?

Presenting Imbecile # 1
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We were intrigued at the offer that his company posted. So we inquired further. This dude was so hyped that he invited us to sit down.

"Nanti saya explain semua sekali untuk akak"

So the nightmare begin.

He started ranting off bladebal de bla.. We should have bolted and run when he keeps on having to refer to other people for all questions that we post to him. Entah kot aku tanya harga belacan sebungkus pun si tongong ni pergi tanya orang jugak.

Then he asked,

"Berapa orang ye?"

"11 org. 8 Adults, 3 children".

"Children tu besar mana? Baby brp bulan?"

"Baby? they are 10, 11 and 12 years old. 13 and 14 years old kira adult ke?"

So he went back calculating and calculating. With the help of not 1 but 2 female sidekick. Ok, the sidekick is actually his superior, coz the dude simply do not know his shit.

"Ha.. tadi brp org?"

"8 Adults. 3 Children"

Calculate somemore. Write 8A and 3C in capital in his note book. Consulted someone else again...

"Tadi 11 Adults ye?"

Steam started coming out my ears.

"8 Adults. 3 Children"

Consult here and there. Now xls doesn't work. Help. Help. Panic mode. Here comes another sidekick.

"Ah..tadi 8 Adults?"

"Lagi sekali you tanya... I bangun dari sini. Tadi kan you dah tulis. Berapa kali nak tanya?"

OMG.Nevermind the room, what about the flight? How much does it cost per person?

"Ha.. on this date it's RM89"

"RM89? Return to langkawi?" Ok I'm sold.

"Haah"

" Betul ke bukan pergi RM89, balik RM89?" my sis asked, sceptically

"Tak. Betul ni RM89 - return"

Right. So first the figure was around 2K. Then consulted another person the figure became 3K. Then finally we said ok whatever la, book us now coz from the system we can see that there's only 13 seats left at the so call price of RM89.

"Eh apasal sistem ni tak boley book lebih dari 9?"

"Book la.. 8.. pastu 3"

"Book la..5 pastu 6"

Suddenly, we saw a new figure pops out. For the flight alone, it will be around 2.5K. Rupanya it's RM89 one way.

Aku punya marah. Hanya tuhan sahaja yang tahu. Tak tau la sama ada nak ketuk kepala dia dengan payung aku, or sepak muka or lompat naik atas meja tu and sepak desktop dia.. or bertukar menjadi raksaksa dan fire kepala otak dia biar terbakar. Dekat satu jam membuang masa kat situ. APAKEJADAHHARAMBEJADAH.

Me and my sis terus bangun. Tak tengok pun muka dia.

Lepas tu kitaorg lalu kat booth tu dah takde dah muka dia. Agaknya kena demoted tukang buat air aje lepas tu.

Exit Imebcile #1, Enter Imbecile # 2:
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By now, our mood was definitely not good.Tempreture is rising. But we cheer up a bit when we saw this hotel's booth selling what seems to be vouchers. We were kind of keen to stay there.

It's here where we met Imbecile #2. Imbecile seems to be busy on her mobile. Totally ignoring us. While standing in front of imbecile giving her the killer stare, datang pulak kawan dia.

"Oh kena tunggu dia ni jugak kak. Kita memang ada jual voucher ni"

"Boley confirm booking ke?"

"Kalau ada tarikh, memang boleh"

Looking around the small booth.. there's no pc, so how are they going to check their system and confirm my booking?

"Macam mana nak check? Nak check guna beg merah tu? Or nak tulis dalam buku exercise ni?" me pointing to a small red luggage lying on the floor and a RM0.50 single-line exercise book on the desk.

Tidak sempat nak menangkis serangan sarcasm aku, Imbecile # 2 dah habis cakap kat phone and look up and look at us as if we are beggar on the street

"Here you go" tunjuk a pile of brochures.

"What's this?" we asked

"Err Subang..." a pile of brochures of their hotel in Subang.

WHAT THE FUCK - said my face. I used to work in Subang. Hari2 aku boley pergi berak dekat hotel kau if aku nak. Tak payah beli voucher.

"We don't want Subang. We want Langkawi"

"Oh Langkawi.. have to wait for..."

Kakak aku pun terus angkat tangan - TALK TO THE HAND COZ THE FACE JUST DON"T GIVE A TINY RATS ASS ABOUT IT!

Kitaorang pun terus blah. ARGHHHHHHH

Next we met Imbecile #3 in Hall 2
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Imbecile # 3 was selling packages to go Ostolia. We were interested to purchase this ground only tour pacakages. They gave us a brochure with these assortments of tour, we were reading and saw that it stated there:

"Tour packages can only be purchased outside of Australia"

So we asked Imbecile # 3 if we can purchase it from their booth.

"Wait hor"

After a few minutes,

"This one right.. the Australia Exployer (read: Explorer) can buy there one"

"But it says here, it's not available in Australia. Can only be purchased outside of Australia"

"No.. when you get there.. you can buy there la"

What's your objective here? You want to sell something or just merely standing here, wasting oxygen? But my sister got one step smarter...

"Do you understand this sentence or not?" Showing here the line that says tour can only be purchase outside of Australia.

"Hor?"

"You understand this or not?"

"Ahh.. no"

"No? Good. Thank you. Good bye"

Shall we slit our wrist now?

Sighhh.. the horror haven't ended yet.

Well, since we paid RM3 each to enter the forsaken place, we did buy some packages anyway. So we wanted to enter the buyers contest, which probably win us a lunch with Imbecile #1 anyway.... so here's where we met

Imbecile #4
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In order for you to get the contest form, they will need to verify who paid for the packages. Who's name it was on the credit card slip... If the name of the payee if different from the booking name, it's not acceptable. What the flying FOOK are you talking ABOOT?

Tak kisah la letak nama siapa pun. Macam la menang.

"Ni pun aaa.. mesti itu orang jugak pergi holiday. Kalau tak pergi tak boley woo" said Imbecile #4
"Habis tu, when reach hotel there..someone will wait there la to take my father's blood sample to make sure that it is him going to the holiday and not some imposter?"

"Ya lorr"

Seriously.

Sudahnya, baik la check aje kat Internet semua benda ni. Ingatkan pergi sana lagi menyenangkan.. rupanya makin pening. Benci aku. Bila la nak kaya, and ada plane and hotel sendiri supaya tak payah aku deal dgn orang2 macam ni lagi.