Habis, nak panggil apa?

"Selamat hari raya makcik" said my nephew to my friend K who's the same age as me. "Hey, panggil auntie la" I told them. (Makcik sounded kampung. Sesuai utk Fasha Sendal) . Then, they called everyone Aunty including the my friend's mom. The makcik said, "Acik takde aunty2 ni, panggil Makcik je". Confuse dah. Then my friend introduce me to her 3 year old daughter " Salam aunty ni.... eh ke nak panggil kakak?"

Entah. Aku pun dah tak tau.

Here's my rule of thumb which I thot was bullet proof till today. If the person is a few years older than us, call them kakak or abang. If a lot older mcm boleh jadi mak mentua ke its either makcik or aunty. Makcik is better used in kampung, while if it's in the city or the person macam mod smcm can call aunty. Same rule apply for the men folk. Agak2 yang mcm ada persona Rahim Razali boley la panggil uncle, if tak - pakcik. "How about nenek?" Ahh.. tricky a bit. I'd stay away from calling anyone nenek.. (macam nenek kebayan). But then for kids yang kena address someone yang mcm dah pangkat atuk tu, stick with 'Tok'.

But how to explain to a 10 and 12 year old, the above, while trying to be politically correct? Kecik2 dah diajar membeza2kan orang. So not good. Dah tu macam mana nak explain mod tu apa. To them, sape bagi duit raya banyak = kaya = must be a Datin. Lagi bagus.

There's other example. Those who are single, how many times you get telemarketer calling you 'Puan'? To me that's automatic red card and if I'm really not in the mood mau letak aje telefon. Those who are slightly smarter (or maybe their call center script writer are full of single woman), would ask.. "maaf ye, ini Puan ke Cik". I bet the Puans would answer confidently "ye Puan", while the Ciks... would shippishly say "cik...." or an angry " CIK LA". I thot during this age of information techonology, you'd have all the details of cik ke puan ke mmg cik puan in your DB. Sighhhhh I've reach my acceptance phase, Puan pun Puan la. Aku tetap tak beli barang kau.

So how about at kedai makan?

Sekarang ni, aku panggil semua orang pun adik la. Mostly muda dari aku. Tapi yang kelakar bapak aku panggil semua org 'bang' or 'kak'. Padahal orang tu semua macam dah pangkat anak kat dia. But then he said kang kalau aku panggil adik.. org kata gatal pulak. Ye jugak.

Maybe it's just a girl thing to worry about how we should be address. Guys tak kisah kot.

So, nak panggil aku apa?

I do answer to "Mak Lampir"... hahahahaha